![]() Then, as I lay in bed, I thought about what had happened in the 10 minutes before that knock on the door. Why did I react that way? Why didn't I just apologize and diffuse the situation? I felt awful for the rest of the afternoon. Using the Iceberg Theory to Identify Personal TriggersĪs soon as he left, I was riddled with guilt for my behavior. ![]() Luckily a neighbor was able to calm him down, and he belligerently handed over the package and got back in his van as I wordlessly closed the door. I shouted back that he was overreacting and being ridiculous. I promise he's harmless - he just slipped through my legs." He shouted angrily (and repeatedly), "You should learn to control your dog! Sort out your dog! What are you doing?!"Īt that point, I should have said "I'm so sorry he scared you. The man jumped backward down my front steps, nearly falling over and actually dropping his keys, phone, and the package he'd come to deliver. As I opened it, my seven-pound dog with a Napoleon complex slipped through my legs and ran, barking, at the driver. I was playing with my girls when a delivery driver knocked on the door. Last week I was needlessly rude to someone. ![]() This is one theory that really holds water (sorry). It is also a great tool to have in your back pocket when dealing with problems in personal relationships and practicing self-awareness. The theory is used widely in business, psychology, and academia. What a person does is "the tip of the iceberg"- what we don't see are the emotional, social, cultural, and other factors that lie beneath the surface and cause that behavior. The iceberg theory is a frequently cited model of behavior which states that a person's behavior can only be properly understood in the context of the factors that caused it.
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